Tag Archives: Juli Slattery

Questions about Sex and Marriage (Part 3)

Today, I would like to share one last peek into Juli Slattery’s new book, 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Last week, I discussed a couple of those questions about sex and marriage, and today I would like to look at the last two:

questions about sex and marriage

Chapter 24: How do we fight without hurting each other?

After hearing many marriage experts say that fighting is an unavoidable part of marriage, I am cheering to hear Dr. Slattery say that fighting is actually optional. Yes! It is inevitable that two different people will have two different perspectives, but fighting is optional.

That is some good news to share! There are healthy ways to work through differences without resorting to fighting.

Here are several quotes from this chapter:

Most important issues in a marriage don’t have to be resolved today. … Although it may feel like you need resolution, find your own peace in bringing the issue before the Lord before seeking peace with your spouse. (page 203)

God is teaching me that I could win every argument and still lose my marriage. That perspective helps me practice the self-control and humility required to do conflict well. (205)

Switching from a pattern of fighting … means refusing to make your spouse the enemy and being patient to wait until the right time and setting to talk the issues through in a loving manner.  (206)

You’ll get no fight from me on those points.

Chapter 25: Why wouldn’t God want me to be happy?

This kind of thinking can really trip us up, can’t it?

Here are some of Juli’s thoughts on this topic:

My friend, it requires great faith living within our fallen world to believe that honoring God with every relationship and sexual choice is worthwhile. You may be teased, mocked, and have some lonely seasons. Even then, your loving Father is for your deepest joy. (215)

The question is not about how much God loves you, but how much you love Him. … It is in loving Him and seeking Him that you will find your greatest happiness. (215)

Yes, that’s right! God longs to love us better than we could ever love ourselves. We can trust Him.

questions about sex and marriage

Again, I recommend this very practical book by Juli Slattery.

How you live out your sexuality may seem like a personal decision, but it also tells the world what you believe about God. (214)

I have one copy of 25 Questions to give away, courtesy of Moody Publishers. If you are interested in a chance to win, simply leave a comment on this post or reply by email. You may enter the drawing more than once, but no later than November 10.

Blessings to you,
Tami

 

 

 

25 Questions (Part 2)

Last week, I recommended to you Juli Slattery’s new book, 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

Today and again next week, I want to share several of Juli’s gracious answers to those awkward questions.

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Chapter 1: What’s the big deal about sex?

I was interested to read Juli’s basic “theology” of sex. If someone does not have this foundational piece well-grounded in Biblical truth, then the other pieces may not be solid, either. However, I think Juli is right-on-track with statements such as these:

“[Y]our sexuality is inseparable from your spirituality. In fact, every sexual choice is also a spiritual choice. Sex isn’t just about sex.” (p. 16)

The “walls we build between the sexual and spiritual are only imagery.Confusion and hidden pain related to sex is intricately intertwined with our present relationship with God.” (16)

“God created sex and the covenant of marriage to be a brilliant metaphor of how deeply He knows us and longs for us to know Him.” (16)

“Sexual intimacy is a powerful picture of the gospel—of the degree of intimacy and ecstasy we are capable of having with God.” (17)

What an important understanding! Sex has physical components, obviously, but it is an immensely powerful force—for good or for evil—because of its spiritual dimension. We cannot determine whether particular sexual practices and attitudes are healthy or destructive without knowing that physical marriage parallels spiritual covenant. Unfortunately, in our culture and even in many churches, this is a completely foreign concept.

Chapter 16: How can I compete with porn?

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Click on the graphic for a great list of resources for combating porn.

I want to highlight this question because October 25-31 is WRAP week, designed to focus on the fight against pornography. Porn is a vicious destroyer of marriages, families, and everyone it touches.

Longing for intimacy and affection, many wives feel they must compete with porn. However, this is a phony set-up. Porn does not provide true intimacy and has nothing to do with affection. (By the way, the ministry that Juli Slattery now leads is called Authentic Intimacy.)

In this chapter on porn, Juli writes:

“Ironically, porn can’t even compete with itself. A man using porn doesn’t go back to the same picture or video, but always wants something new …. However, we must remember that porn is NOT intimacy; it is a cheap counterfeit. Your husbands needs more than sex; he was designed for intimacy.” (134)

Juli also provides this encouraging reminder:

“As rampant as pornography and sexual addictions have become, God is still in the business of healing.” (135)

So, how do you compete with porn? You don’t! When you discover mold in your walls, do you try to compete? Of course not. Porn is not something to compete with; it is something to fight against. It is something to resist and defeat.

Interested in a copy of 25 Questions?Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Compliments of Moody Publishers, I am able to give away one copy of 25 Questions.  If you would like a chance to receive this book, simply leave a reply to this post (or email me), and your name will be entered into the drawing. You may enter more than once.

Blessings to you!
Tami

 

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Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net