Tag Archives: help for marriage

The Power of a Torn Veil: Tetelestai

“Tetelestai.

The last word that Jesus spoke before dying on the cross means, “It is finished.” The atoning work of Christ is complete. Our immense debt to God is paid in full.

In Jerusalem

While Jesus was hanging on a cross outside Jerusalem, a thick curtain was hanging inside the Jewish temple. This ornate veil marked a solemn boundary: the curtain was a physical barrier representing the spiritual separation between God and people. Some claimed that this curtain was so thick—maybe four inches thick—that horses could not have torn it apart.

But when Christ died, God tore that veil apart from top to bottom. Through His own torn body, Jesus opened the way to God. He made Himself the door into the heart of God.

In Relationship with God

When God tore the curtain, He was throwing open the entrance into His presence, inviting us all to rich relationship with Him: “Come in, come in!”

Tetelestai. The old covenant is finished.

The old covenant is the system in which we must earn our acceptance. We must prove ourselves. In the old system, there are rewards and relationship for those who keep the rules, and there are punishments and separation for those fail.

But Christ said, “Tetelestai.” The old covenant is finished. We have a new way now, a way of receiving instead of earning.

God gives us relationship. He gives us acceptance. God gives us warm welcome and honor. He gives us unfailing love.

welcome sign; tetelestai

God says to us, “Tetelestai. No more earning. Come in, come in!” What a fantastic thing to hear!

Tetelestai transforms our lives, entirely.

In Marriage

And tetelestai can transform our marriagesentirely.

Very often, we put our spouse in the defendant’s seat while we climb to the judge’s bench. We stay busy and vigilant as both judge and prosecutor. Has my spouse earned my kindness? Has she earned my attention? Has he earned my respect? Has he earned my acceptance?

We feel compelled to oversee justice before providing relationship, so we continually monitor our spouse’s behavior, measure our approval or displeasure, and mete out the consequences. All of these relational transactions drain our energy and dampen our enjoyment. Our marriages begin to carry more duty than delight.

But there is a better way! We can say to our spouse, “Tetelestai! No more earning my love. I give you acceptance. I give you my commitment.”

"open" sign on door; tetelestai

We are no longer in the courtroom with God. Let’s not live in the courtroom with our spouse.

….. [Continue reading this article at StartMarriageRight.com HERE.]

An Interview with Ron and Jody Zappia (video): The Marriage Knot

Marriage Knot

It was a pleasure for me to interview Ron and Jody Zappia today as they explained “the seven choices that keep couples together.” As you watch this video, you will hear what those marriage-changing choices are, and you will also learn more about the Zappias’ own personal story of a marriage-in-crisis that God transformed as a marriage-in-Christ.

Marriage Knot; Zappia

You can read more about all of this in Ron and Jody’s new book, published by Moody, called The Marriage Knot. There is much wisdom in this easy-to-read, practical book, which I reviewed recently on MannaForMarriage (HERE).

I pray that this interview will be an encouragement to you!

An Interview with Ron and Jody Zappia: The Marriage Knot

3 Tips to Transform Any Marriage (A Webinar and a Winner)

Most successful couples practice this one skill. In fact, this skill is so important to a healthy relationship that the direction of a marriage can be predicted based on this skill alone. Do you know what that is?

Another practice is so powerful in marriage that couples who make this a habit have a divorce rate of less than one percent. Wow! Do you know what that habit is?

Webinar

Anyone can develop these skills and begin to use them immediately. In a webinar last week, Dr. Jessica McCleese and I discussed three tips that will transform any marriage. We used the acronym MAP to discuss those three practices.

You can watch the webinar replay HERE.

jessica Jessica is a licensed psychologist who uses biblical principles to help couples improve their marriages. I very much enjoyed working with Jessica on the webinar, which she hosted through her website BeFullyWell.com. You can view the webinar on YouTube HERE.

Winner

Thank you to all who entered the drawing for the book giveaway this week. Congratulations, Ken!  Ken will be receiving a copy of Gary Chapman’s latest release.

chapman

As always, you are invited to join our weekly prayer time on Thursdays, or listen to the recordings HERE. If you would like us to pray for you by name, just let me know. We consider it a privilege to pray for marriages and families.

Blessings to you,
Tami

 

 

7 Prayers for Your Marriage

One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to pray.

And one of the best ways to pray is to use the Scriptures as a guide.

That is because the secret to prayer—just like the secret to marriage—is unity. When two wills line up together, there is great power!

As we study the Bible, we learn the longings of God’s heart. As we allow God’s desires to become ours, we move into harmony with Him. Through this union, the Spirit of God works in awesome ways, restoring what has been damaged and creating new beauty.

Below are seven Scriptural prayers for your marriage, one for each day of the week. Perhaps you and your spouse would like to pray these verses together as you ask God to protect and strengthen your marriage. If your spouse isn’t interested in praying with you, don’t be discouraged—just keep praying!

Click HERE to read the 7 prayers at StartMarriageRight.com.

Hope for a Hurting Husband

An Open Letter to a Hurting Husband

husband

I know that you are hurting in your marriage. And I realize that it might seem easier to just walk away.

But you haven’t.

I commend you for that because God doesn’t walk away from His covenant partner, either.

Take hope!

Although there has been pain in your marriage, you can have immense hope in the unfailing goodness of God. As you seek to honor God in your marriage, you can be confident that God will enable you to do that. The Scriptures give this encouragement to you:

Do not be discouraged, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God fights for you.

God’s heart is for you. He is for healing. God has obligated Himself to act on behalf of those who are in covenant with Him.

Author and pastor Dave Harvey says,

God is completely, totally, enthusiastically supportive of your every effort to build a strong, God-glorifying marriage.

You can succeed.

You are able to succeed powerfully as a husband. God has created your spirit for strength and for greatness. Regardless of your wife’s actions, you can excel as a husband through your commitment and devotion to her.

This success as a husband is rooted in your commitment to God. It is not based on your wife’s reaction or behavior.

Marriage is not something you wrestle out with your wife; marriage is something you wrestle out with God, just as Jacob did at the Jabbok River. Wrestle until you are able to submit to the blessing.

You succeed as a husband as you remember your pledge before God in the presence of witnesses to love this woman and to be faithful to her “till death do you part.” You remember that you made a sacred vow; and by the enabling of the Spirit of God Himself, you stand with strength to fulfill that pledge.

You commit to fulfill your solemn oath with honor and with integrity, regardless of the cost, because mighty men of God choose to act as God Himself acts. As bearers of His image, godly men uphold covenant promises as God does: with steadfast faithfulness, unintimidated by the threat of loss and undeterred by the pain of sacrifice.

You succeed as a man of strength and greatness when you say to your wife:

I am completely committed to you.

I am devoted to you and to you alone. I have no “back-up” plans.

Even if you reject me, ….

(Click HERE to continue reading.)

Top 10 Tips for Marriage [with graphic]

What are your best marriage tips?

I recently listed my top 10 tips for marriage here: 10 Simple-but-Powerful Ways to Build Your Marriage.

The article explains each tip, but this chart gives a summary of the ten points:

top 10 tips for marriage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What would you add to that list? I would be interested to hear your suggestions.

Blessings to you,
Tami